A statistician applying the principles and practice of Harmony Meditation to experience the Life within.

The infamous gut feeling – can we trust it?

Image from http://www.ipgcounseling.com/
Image from http://www.ipgcounseling.com/

In certain situations we may need to make decisions based on limited information. Some rely on a gut feeling consciously or subconsciously. But do we question how well our gut feeling does in retrospect? It’s hard to say because we can’t live our lives in parallel universes.

As a rationally inclined person, I use the gut feeling as the last resort in absence of all other information. After contemplating and reflecting on my past “gut decisions”, here is a few things I’ve been pondering on about trusting the gut feeling.

It’s now a common knowledge that “gut” has its own decision making process via the enteric nervous system, also known as “second brain”, which “can and does operate independently of the brain and spinal cord” [wiki]. So in a sense we resort to the second brain in the gut to make important life decisions.

The second brain takes care of many essential life functions, and produces a myriad of feelings and senses. What we eat and how well we absorb nutrients and eliminate toxins will surely affect our overall sense of well-being. To get a scientific perspective, read an article by Adam Hadhazy “Think Twice: How the Gut’s “Second Brain” Influences Mood and Well-Being”.

So then, can we trust our gut feelings? It depends. There are exceptional individuals who stuck to their gut feeling against all odds and became highly successful. For example, Steve Jobs. For a regular person like me, though, gut feelings tend to be much more banal – being afraid of the unknown and resisting the change.

From a statistical perspective, the second brain operations are largely based on past information and build-in mechanisms of dealing with new information, such as unfamiliar food, feelings, or ideas. If we have an unsettling reaction to the latter, we’ll try to avoid it at all costs. What if it is really good for us and can prove highly beneficial in the long term? What if we need to stick our gut and overcome the challenge? Most of the time following the gut feeling means sinking deeper in the old familiar self and missing a great opportunity.

Of course, we don’t need to challenge every decision our second brain makes. This will be an impossible task. Then how to tell when it’s time to override that decision? The first essential component is the ability to observe one’s own gut feelings and reactions.

With practice of harmony meditation the frequency of moments when a person is successful at recognizing himself or herself resisting new challenges and is able to question the second brain’s defensive reaction increases substantially.

When these precious moments of awakening happen, we can gently steer ourselves out of the rut and see new opportunities. We can take charge of the course of our day and ultimately, our lives. What else do we need? Direction. More on that later.

 

Hundred shades of ego – brighter anyway

“How do you know that your ego is not getting ahead of you?” – my friend asked me recently. Good question. I thought about it and realized that I examine my ego quite frequently, on everyday basis. I am just not calling it ego anymore, and it does not necessarily have a shameful and regretful connotation.

When we were children, we were taught what was good and what was bad, and there was not much in between on this scale of black and white. If we keep judging ourselves and others with this primitive binary scale of zeros and ones, likes and dislikes, love and hatred, saint and evil, we’ll end up in a living hell. None of the important life questions can be resolved by applying the same answer to all people and situations. Same with the ego – it’s not all good or bad, there is much more to be learned about our egos.

The ego does not only show up when we do something terrible. We could be sensing it even if we just think something judgmental or express ourselves in a non-optimal manner. That’s not a peaceful existence, but is there a solution? Yes, there is.

In ZEN method for executive leaders training I took recently, it became so clear why the usual ways of dealing with negative feedback of ego do not work. Our teacher Johwa Choi explained why the type of meditation majority of people are practicing these days may be good for stress relief and relaxation, but not for someone seeking answers to who they truly are, someone seeking for authentic change beyond the physical and energy phenomena.

I won’t do justice to what we learned over two days of this one-of-a-kind intensive weekend training in this short blog, but I will say this. If we perceive our ego as enemy, we don’t get to know it well enough, and we can never become whole. It isn’t an option to live ego-less unless we die or become saints. Then our teacher advises us getting to know who we are intimately, including ego’s clever mechanisms of self-preservation. One of the fastest ways to see and experience this intricate relationship between thoughts, emotions, consciousness, the ego and the truest self is via a powerful method called ZEN method – Zero Enhanced Nothingness. I wish Gilbert Chesterton knew of this method when he wrote: “One may understand the cosmos, but never the ego; the self is more distant than any star.”

Brightness anywayThrough meditation one can and should develop a better sense of who he or she is. Gradually the screen lightens up with a wider spectrum of colors – different hues and shades of ego and truest self are coming to life. These colors may be dark and depressing at times, but switching to a brighter scale becomes easier and faster with practice. To me this is where true freedom can be found – a place of brilliant brightness with the ego playing under its embracing rays.

A curious case of evolving from within

I find myself saying many positive things about my recent change in employment. My former colleagues say – wow, can this company be so wonderful? But I heard completely opposite things – people are hard to work with,  workload is not commensurable with rewards , and so on.

That made me think. Over the course of four years I’ve been practicing harmony meditation and changing myself inside out. The gradual change was not so much noticeable from day to day, month to month, but as I reflected on my journey, it became clear how different I am now.

Without further adieu, here is the list of areas in which I observed major shifts.

  • Collaboration –easy!

As I learned to accept my shortcomings in daily communications, I learned to be more tolerant to views and ideas different from mine. I stopped taking it so personally and became much more aware of the “wall building” process. Let’s face it, there are people we like and people we don’t like as much. As part of a team building exercise I recently took the Briggs-Myers personality test and I came out as a 90% introvert. So I know a lot about wall building and secluding myself to a safe comfortable place. Collaboration is not something that came naturally to me.

Wall building begins when we experience a negative emotion towards a person and we stop listening even though we hear everything that person says. As soon as I lay the first brick, the Bigger Self tells me – what are you doing? Put it down! I obey once, twice, many times, and everyday feels like a new day, every “old new” encounter is full of promise and opportunities for making it better. A new work environment is a perfect place to practice “open space” application within and around me.

  • Innovation – unleashed!

As I stopped wasting resources on emotions such as worrying, fear, feelings of inadequacy, I had more energy to invest in innovative problem solving. That energy did not just increase in quantity, but became purer and brighter, full of hopeful and empowering ideas. Sometimes I catch myself thinking – can I really do that? Am I smart enough to figure it out? Do I really have to tackle this big challenge? I pause and I breathe, and I watch the claws of the “smaller self” loosing its grip over me. Yes, I can if I decide to. Yes, I can choose to go forward into the unknown.

  • Having more fun – naturally

To me, one of the most rewarding experiences after years of practice and efforts was the ability to feel deep joy and happiness irrespective of external circumstances. That includes being joyful at work, as well as being happy on my own. Growing the power of savoring my true essence enables me with wiser choices at work, which does not go unnoticed by the management. Let’s see how much fun I have in the next six months or so. I promise to update you then.

Getting back on feet… by getting down on a cushion

I have weathered what seemed to be a heavy cold with all the pleasantries – cough, voice loss, and an apathetic state with no desire to get up or even live. Thankfully, this is over, and it is time to get back on track with my meditation practice.

Even when I am perfectly healthy, there are days when it’s hard to bring myself to do it. “Just do it!” – a strong voice says, and the little voice replies – “But I am so tired, and I did so many great things today.” It does happen that a little voice wins and goes to bed smiling smugly. I learned to let it go once a while, as long as the frequency of these “victories” is sparse. Today the strong voice after a period of silence has decided restarting the practice, and the little voice had to oblige with the commander. I knew it would not be easy, and I knew to keep my expectations low after a longer-than-I-am-willing-to-admit-to break.

As soon as I sat on the cushion, I could feel the intense fire in the right side of my brain. It was the little voice making all sorts of noises and throwing tantrums – “you see, I told you can’t do it, you are still sick, why don’t you lay down and take it easy?” I waited patiently and the pain came down to the chest, then to the liver and stomach area with some cramping pains, and finally to the lower abdomen and out. After an occasional coughing bout the circle of pain would make rounds again from top to bottom. When I finished, I got up, walked around, and the veil of fog has lifted for me to see that I am ready to be who I am again. Thank you!

What is your dream?

http://www.freedigitalphotos.net
http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

In tonight’s meditation class grandmaster Johwa gave us a topic to meditate on: “What is your dream?” The answer came to me very quickly, which does not happen often. The answer was: “To die with a clear conscience.” I was surprised – how can this be a dream? Gradually I understood what was meant by it. I realized that clear conscience does not only mean the absence of bad deeds. That spending my life on trying to make my personal life better does not guarantee clear conscience. Not using my time here well means my conscience will bother me sooner or later. It will not be satisfied with the limits imposed on me by me. It will only be satisfied when I keep trying (and sometimes failing) to bring the best of me into this world, when I dream big!

I have also understood the connection between having a clear conscience at life’s sunset and having a clear mind before going to bed. It’s so obvious! And off I go to do cleaning of the mind, scrubbing of the brain, and clearing of the chest so that my heart can beat confidently and joyfully. Good night!

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