Goong Goong - Page 3 of 19 -

Not good enough, and so much more

Brain and awareness are fascinating “things.” It always amazes me how you start with a thought that leads to a different thought that, in turn, leads to yet another thought. You realize that everything is connected, like a link chain.

It started with a simple comment by my teacher that I am doing better. My immediate response was “I am not seeing that.” “Better than a month ago?” he said. And I realized that he is right, and I know it, but for some reason I had difficult time admitting it, because in my mind it was still not good enough.

I thought about “not good enough”…

Not good enough – this is what pushes us to do more, to do better, to want to improve. But there is a line where it becomes a source of negativity. There is a point where always feeling that “it’s not good enough” is not only not helpful to our growth but impedes it. To add a positive spin, we call ourselves perfectionists. It is much more comfortable to explain it as being a perfectionist than trying to understand and address it.

How do we balance the feeling of accomplishment with “not good enough”? I am realizing that everything is relative to the moment. If we accomplish something, it might be good enough for that moment, and become not good enough the next one. Moments can be counted in minutes, hours, days, months, years. So, maybe it is ok to relax for a moment, accept and appreciate your accomplishments, with the desire to do even better. Just not at that very moment.

This made me think about so much more. How I am always looking for the most optimal solution, best outcome, right away. And then, if I cannot achieve it, I feel dissatisfied, hopeless, feeling this heavy weight of burden.

And I started thinking – it is easier for the brain to have two states: good enough, not good enough. Good and bad. Start and end. Emotionally it can be very trying and unpleasant but brain does not care about emotions. It is much harder for the brain to process each intermediate step, accept that it is a process, because that requires so much more awareness. My teacher talked about laziness of the brain, and at first, I was puzzled by the notion. I am starting to understand. The brain wants an easier way out, even if it is at the expense of emotions. The brain does not want to be bothered with the processing and understanding every little thing, every little step, comprehend it as a part of something larger. For me, understanding this is the first step, and it needs to be good enough for this very moment.

Who Am I?

2 Comments / Blog / By Jean

Everyone, at some point, has probably heard the question, “Who am I?”
And most have likely asked themselves the same.
Sometimes, an answer comes. Sometimes, it doesn’t.
Maybe the answer sounds oddly familiar, as if heard somewhere before.
Other times, we think we’ve crafted the best answer we know how to give.
And occasionally, an unexpected and profound answer appears from within.

This question is as ancient as humanity itself — as old as the Bible, the scriptures, and the quiet spaces of human contemplation.
Even as the world changes rapidly, the essence of this question — and its answers — seems to remain unchanged. Would someone ever say, “I am an AI,” or “I am the creator of Bitcoin”?
Unlikely.

In my years of meditation and reflection, I’ve heard many answers from many people.
None have gone far beyond what I expected.
But perhaps that’s not what matters most.
Because the answer can shift — yesterday’s answer may not be the same as today’s.

What truly matters to me is proof — to live out what I say I am.
If I say I am love, then I prove it, in whatever way I can, however small, through my actions that day. If I say I am hope, then I strive to share hope with others — and to be my own source of hope.

It might last only a day, or it may carry into the next.
Day by day, it builds — and with it, a clearer sense of self.

A good question isn’t just poetic or clever.
It becomes powerful when it leads to new value being created.

So today, I ask again:
“Who am I?”
And quietly, I live as today’s version of me.

^{Image from Pixabay}

A Blessing Falling on the Mind

1 Comment / Blog / By Jean

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Like a sound too vast to be heard,
Everything around me is so full, I can no longer see.
My heart wanders, seeking an empty space,
But even in hearing and seeing, I cannot know.

Remaining in that very place,
I turn, roll, and lift my mind—
And welcome the rain of the universe.
Unavoidable streams pour down,
Flowing through my mind.
It is a blessing.

Oh, You – My Life

1 Comment / Blog / By Jean

When the spring breeze stirs my heart,
Love begins to bloom, soft and ticklish.
There was joy—
And there was pain.

When the wind blows and scatters,
My heart breaks out like an allergy:
Laughing, flaring,
And tears dripping, drip by drip.

Still, I don’t understand.
Ah, I don’t know.
Not at ten,
Nor at thirty, fifty, or even seventy.
I don’t know.
Still so young.
Still so young.

Will I ever pass through that blazing summer
And taste the fruits of autumn?
Or will I simply lie down
On the cold winter ground?

Have flowers ever bloomed in my heart?
How bittersweet.
Oh, you—my life.

The Journey of Understanding

2 Comments / Blog / By Jean

_{Image from Pixabay}

In the world, my existence seemed to be the only thing that was vast. It felt like I was living in a world all of my own. But then, other women—especially those around my age—started catching my attention. Friends. I began to get to know them. As time went on, women who were older than me, those who were like older sisters, came into the picture. At first, I couldn’t understand them. But as time passed, I began to. Even those who had experienced more than I had, those with more knowledge, started to make sense. I, too, started to grow older. Time moved on, and eventually, I began to understand the existence of mothers—women who had children. This time, it wasn’t something that could be easily understood. How could a human being give birth to another, and yet remain the same? No matter how much I tried to view it through the lens of my own limited human understanding, it just didn’t make sense.

But then, when I began to think about it through the viewpoint of “Hanl(the Bigger Mind),” everything shifted. I started to see it as something human. Ah, they are humans. More than that, at that moment, I realized something crucial: in my world, there were only women. It was just me and other women, different from me, but still women. Men weren’t even part of my thoughts or my world. To me, they were completely different beings—beings I couldn’t understand, and honestly, didn’t want to understand. Men, I owe you a sincere apology. Through this realization, I came to understand that only by merging with the Bigger Mind, by seeing the world from that divine perspective, could I truly understand and coexist with others. Without that shift, understanding and coexistence would have been impossible. It’s like someone who walks around with open eyes but is blind to the things around them. It’s like trying to empty your mind without ever truly understanding how it works.

This is my personal confession and reflection. If, from the moment you were born, you’ve been a person full of understanding and love for others, then I truly respect you. But I was not like that, and this is my confession to myself. I hope that by reading this, you might find something to think about in your own life.