Becoming a Bigger Self

When we’re young, we dream of growing up quickly so we can live life on our own terms. We imagine eating what we want, sleeping when we want, dressing how we like, earning money, creating things, achieving dreams.

But once we actually become adults, we come to a sobering realization: almost nothing truly goes the way we want. And eventually, most of us don’t even know what it is that we want anymore.

To make things more confusing, the guiding voices we once had—parents, teachers, mentors—are no longer there to say “yes” or “no.” No one is really watching us closely enough to point out what we need or who we are becoming.

Perhaps, a few years from now, AI will be able to give us razor-sharp feedback based on economic and social data. Maybe it will see us more clearly than any human can. But if that day comes, the feedback might be so brutally logical, so precise and systematized, that it leaves no space for grace, for softness, for the human spirit.

So what do we need now?

We need each other.

But not just as we are—we need to become bigger self for each other. Not our small, reactive, fragile selves. We need to grow—mentally, physically, spiritually—into something stronger and more whole. We need to be the kind of people who can truly support one another.

How do we become this Bigger Self?

There’s a book called Bigger Self, Bigger Mindthat outlines a path, so I won’t list every method here. But one thing is clear: we don’t have infinite time. Humans, even at best, live to around 100. None of us knows how long we have.

The universe may be infinite. Some say we’re reborn again and again. But without preparation, without intention, how many lifetimes would it take to finally do what we were meant to do?

Life doesn’t offer a reset button at will.

If you’re reading this right now, this moment is your best moment.
Let’s become Bigger Self.
You and I, together.

Is your brain always on? Can you turn it off? Listen… without your brain.

Click to listen

Use the next 2 minutes (exactly 2 and more is optional) to digest something different:

“What if your brain is not capable of sensing everything? What happens then?” – Johwa Choi

Really?! Use your brain to imagine what it would be like to not use your brain?????? Huh?!

Wait… how do you confirm what else there is to sense if you always use your brain? Listen to the 1 minute trailer. Breathe. Experience it. Don’t use your brain only!

What is Love? – feelings and needs

In this funny dialogue [@59:50] Marshall Rosenberg, the author of bestselling “Nonviolent communication: A language of Life”, illustrates misunderstanding that happens between a jackal and a giraffe. A giraffe sees love as an essential human need and a jackal limits the notion of love to a certain feeling. In harmony meditation terms the jackal represents a small egocentric self, and the giraffe – a Bigger Self.

Dr. Rosengerg:

Watch this jackal ask a very dangerous question, but notice that the giraffe is too smart ever to answer this question.

  • “Do you love me?” – asks jackal.
  • “Jackal, before I can answer your question honesty, I need to get some important things clear. Are you using the word love as a feeling?” – asks giraffe.
  • Yes, of course.
  • Well, I needed to get that clear. So you mean am I feeling a certain warm cuddly tender feeling toward you?
  • Yes!
  • Okay, I needed to get this clear because we, giraffes, do not use the word love as a feeling, it’s much too important to us to get it confused with a feeling. It’s a need for us. But since you use it as a feeling, okay, I am glad to know that. So now that I know that, would you please ask that question again?
  • Do you love me?
  • When?
  • When???
  • Well, I want to be honest. I can see how important this is to you, but how can I be honest with you about what I feel toward you without reference to a specific moment? Feelings change every few seconds. Life is changing, feelings are part of life, so I have to know specific time and place to ever answer your question of how I feel.
  • What about right now?
  • No. But try me again in a few moments.

I’ve recognized myself in both roles. Do I love me? When? And when can I love myself deeply enough to share that love naturally with others?

I’ve been a jackal and a giraffe,

I’ve had misfortunes and misgivings.

I craved for love and recognition,

And gave according to my feelings…

A gentle voice from bigger self

Speaks out softly, with wisdom and love:

“I feel your pain and here I am.

Forever present, loving and bright.”

Essential Spirituality – who is guiding me?

Spirituality section I was browsing a spirituality section in the local Barnes & Noble – it looked pretty sad to me. Tarot reading, angel answers, psychic and astrology books – this is what Spirituality is reduced to on book shelves. This is what we have been warned against – lulling ourselves into a state of fake peace where some other supreme being or entity is supposed to send us inspiring messages and energy. “Explore the world of spiritual wisdom” is the underlying theme, but I wonder how much real change people are experiencing from reading these titles. I am not at all against these practices and as a matter of fact, I read horoscopes once in a while to receive encouraging messages. However, this is not true spirituality and it should not be called as such. The “side effects” of meditation and spiritual practices that rely on limited positivity are explained very clearly in Chapter 8 of “Harmony Meditation: from well-being to well-dying.”

In ZEN method for executive leaders today our teacher talked about a spiritual field which is different from the energy field. We were able to experience firsthand the relationship among energy, spirituality and chakras, and what the right attitude should be toward these phenomena and principles.

We learned that there are mechanisms that allow us to grow the ability to connect to higher purpose and wisdom. A study and practice of these mechanisms is the ultimate empowerment as it enables us to progress toward the bigger and brighter Self, toward the authentic alive peace with unlimited power and potential.

 

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