As personal life continues to cycle through it’s various phases, I’ve come to think of balance like a delicate maturity. A flower that rises with the understanding that two internal opposing forces need to find a way to coexist in harmonious equilibrium. For example – sometimes, you act logically, and other times be a little more emotional. There are moments when you need to be tough on yourself like a strict parent, and others when kindness and self-love is necessary. Stubbornly sticking to one approach, whether it’s out of habit or momentum, takes away from the truth and reality of the current moment. The pendulum swings back and forth, but the key is to not overcorrect when you find yourself stuck in one particular mode.

Finding that middle way can be hard. It’s so fragile and delicate, but why? Is it because the opposite extreme, is some kind of rebellious response to the consequences of the other? It feels almost childish most times — a lack of inner harmony that drives these swings wildly from one end to the other. Almost like a unconscious tantrum of sorts.

A pattern I’ve observed in my life is how I treat myself when I’m striving for something. Internal pressure builds and I push too hard, becoming a kind of dictator to my body and mind, expecting them to perform exactly as I demand. I continuously force and push myself, even when I’m clearly at my limit. Resilience is one side of this coin, which is certainly a positive quality, but when taken too far, it slips into obsession and toward burnout.

And when that happens, the pendulum swings the other way. I release the pressure, indulge in self-care, and shower myself with love. For a time, it feels like healing. But unchecked, that self-love becomes complacency, and laziness. And then, when I notice time slipping away, a creeping frustration and guilt sets in. That realization jolts me back into action, and the cycle begins anew. The dictator returns, and once again, I find myself at the other extreme.

Looking back, I can see how these cycles have played out over weeks, months, even years. I’ve come to realize that balance isn’t even about completely avoiding the extremes but rather learning not to overcorrect when I notice I’ve been stuck in one mode for too long. So this new idea of balance lies in harmonizing the two extremes instead of letting them compete for dominance.

It’s a journey, and I’m still learning. Over time, I hope to better embrace that subtle middle ground where all these occasionally opposing forces like logic and emotion, effort and rest, resilience and self-love, can all coexist in harmony.