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A curious case of evolving from within

2 Comments / Brain Have Fun / By Human123

I find myself saying many positive things about my recent change in employment. My former colleagues say – wow, can this company be so wonderful? But I heard completely opposite things – people are hard to work with, workload is not commensurable with rewards , and so on.

That made me think. Over the course of four years I’ve been practicing harmony meditation and changing myself inside out. The gradual change was not so much noticeable from day to day, month to month, but as I reflected on my journey, it became clear how different I am now.

Without further adieu, here is the list of areas in which I observed major shifts.

Collaboration –easy!

As I learned to accept my shortcomings in daily communications, I learned to be more tolerant to views and ideas different from mine. I stopped taking it so personally and became much more aware of the “wall building” process. Let’s face it, there are people we like and people we don’t like as much. As part of a team building exercise I recently took the Briggs-Myers personality test and I came out as a 90% introvert. So I know a lot about wall building and secluding myself to a safe comfortable place. Collaboration is not something that came naturally to me.

Wall building begins when we experience a negative emotion towards a person and we stop listening even though we hear everything that person says. As soon as I lay the first brick, the Bigger Self tells me – what are you doing? Put it down! I obey once, twice, many times, and everyday feels like a new day, every “old new” encounter is full of promise and opportunities for making it better. A new work environment is a perfect place to practice “open space” application within and around me.

Innovation – unleashed!

As I stopped wasting resources on emotions such as worrying, fear, feelings of inadequacy, I had more energy to invest in innovative problem solving. That energy did not just increase in quantity, but became purer and brighter, full of hopeful and empowering ideas. Sometimes I catch myself thinking – can I really do that? Am I smart enough to figure it out? Do I really have to tackle this big challenge? I pause and I breathe, and I watch the claws of the “smaller self” loosing its grip over me. Yes, I can if I decide to. Yes, I can choose to go forward into the unknown.

Having more fun – naturally

To me, one of the most rewarding experiences after years of practice and efforts was the ability to feel deep joy and happiness irrespective of external circumstances. That includes being joyful at work, as well as being happy on my own. Growing the power of savoring my true essence enables me with wiser choices at work, which does not go unnoticed by the management. Let’s see how much fun I have in the next six months or so. I promise to update you then.

Getting back on feet… by getting down on a cushion

1 Comment / Brain Have Fun / By Human123

I have weathered what seemed to be a heavy cold with all the pleasantries – cough, voice loss, and an apathetic state with no desire to get up or even live. Thankfully, this is over, and it is time to get back on track with my meditation practice.

Even when I am perfectly healthy, there are days when it’s hard to bring myself to do it. “Just do it!” – a strong voice says, and the little voice replies – “But I am so tired, and I did so many great things today.” It does happen that a little voice wins and goes to bed smiling smugly. I learned to let it go once a while, as long as the frequency of these “victories” is sparse. Today the strong voice after a period of silence has decided restarting the practice, and the little voice had to oblige with the commander. I knew it would not be easy, and I knew to keep my expectations low after a longer-than-I-am-willing-to-admit-to break.

As soon as I sat on the cushion, I could feel the intense fire in the right side of my brain. It was the little voice making all sorts of noises and throwing tantrums – “you see, I told you can’t do it, you are still sick, why don’t you lay down and take it easy?” I waited patiently and the pain came down to the chest, then to the liver and stomach area with some cramping pains, and finally to the lower abdomen and out. After an occasional coughing bout the circle of pain would make rounds again from top to bottom. When I finished, I got up, walked around, and the veil of fog has lifted for me to see that I am ready to be who I am again. Thank you!

What is your dream?

1 Comment / Brain Have Fun / By Human123

In tonight’s meditation class grandmaster Johwa gave us a topic to meditate on: “What is your dream?” The answer came to me very quickly, which does not happen often. The answer was: “To die with a clear conscience.” I was surprised – how can this be a dream? Gradually I understood what was meant by it. I realized that clear conscience does not only mean the absence of bad deeds. That spending my life on trying to make my personal life better does not guarantee clear conscience. Not using my time here well means my conscience will bother me sooner or later. It will not be satisfied with the limits imposed on me by me. It will only be satisfied when I keep trying (and sometimes failing) to bring the best of me into this world, when I dream big!

I have also understood the connection between having a clear conscience at life’s sunset and having a clear mind before going to bed. It’s so obvious! And off I go to do cleaning of the mind, scrubbing of the brain, and clearing of the chest so that my heart can beat confidently and joyfully. Good night!

Learning at any age

1 Comment / Brain Have Fun / By Human123

I’ve always admired my parents for their thirst for learning and self-improvement, and their recent visit was no exception. They energetically pursued various activities – learning English, exercising at the local gym almost every day, and learning to meditate at Harmony Meditation Center. I’ve signed them up for a “ZEN Method” training and watched how miraculous things unfolded in front of my eyes. All the more miraculous considering my parents’ age – early 70’s and late 60’s. I wish I could keep that attitude of openness, gratitude, and continuous learning throughout my whole life.

Here is my mom’s testimonial.

Dear teacher Johwa,

My first encounter with Harmony Meditation and its methods made me reevaluate my worldview. When I left, I continued meditation and Taichi exercises for over a year, and I believe they contributed greatly to my well-being and ability to cope with fatigue and health issues.

This time I was introduced to guided meditation and ZEN method. I experienced and became aware of Hanl and interconnectedness of its power with human beings and the Earth. I experienced first-hand the vital role of breathing and brain’s inner workings. Every time I come to train in the center, I experience a new feeling. Every movement creates an influx of energy to various muscles.

I wish I could come to the center and study with you every day. I feel how precious your teaching is and it’s power to change my thinking and consciousness, to heal the diseases accumulated over many years. I am grateful for all the care and wisdom you shared with me and my husband. He is a retired physicist and engineer, and it took him a long time to experience benefits of meditation. He experienced some powerful healing phenomena during the ZEN method training and started coming to meditation classes of his own will after that. This was a miracle!

I wish you and your family health, happiness, and prosperity.

Upgrading feelings via the First Awakening

2 Comments / Brain Have Fun / By Human123

Science of feelings… Science of self-observation… Is it not something of a misnomer? What if we could reproduce good feelings at will, and let go of bad ones in a flash? What if we could recognize wrong ideas and concepts about ourselves and the world without having to suffer all of their ill effects? What if we could accept great ideas instantaneously, and live according to higher principles joyfully and harmoniously? What a wonderful world it would be!

I venture into this area fairly often. Feelings and thoughts are part of the process called “my life”. Is it possible to apply the same scientific and statistical rigor as I do in my daily job? Not quite, and many great thinkers and scientists before me have attempted this philosophical problem.

In “Harmony and Unity: The life of Niels Bohr” the author describes the great physicist’s fondness for the unfinished story “Adventures of a Danish Student”. In the story one of the characters, Frits, is a graduate student searching for a perfect answer. Frits is keenly aware of the I who is deciding on the answer, and start questioning the identity of that I which leads him “down into a bottomless abyss, and the thinking ends up with my having an abominable headache.”

This dilemma surely gave me plenty of headaches, and I feel sympathetic to Frits’s plight. The solution that I found took me a long time to unearth and implement in daily life.

One important aspect of understanding any process is reproducibility. Imagine being Phil in the movie “Groundhog Day”. Under the exact same circumstances, would you feel the same feelings? Perhaps not, as our brains are wired to eventually become less excited or even bored with the routine and familiar situations. Hence, repeating the same stimuli and circumstances would probably bring some satisfaction while it lasts, but eventually it’ll wear off. Similarly, we could try to avoid unpleasant situations and people, but this is not possible for a person with various professional and social responsibilities, interests, desires.

If controlling the external circumstances does not increase the probability of success, then what does? Manipulating self into believing that everything is grand when I don’t feel that way does not work very effectively with me, either. My “scientific” approach failed time after time, and I felt utterly hopeless.

As a matter of fact, the answer is very simple. And as many wise simple answers, it is extremely hard to implement. Here I will mention a part of the answer:

“Firstly, MuAh [the way of being your truest-self] means realizing that the you you know is not really who you are. The you that you know is but a speck of existence compared to the cosmic you. Once you view your life with this perspective, everything changes and you realize that your life lacks centeredness. This denial of self is the first awakening.”

The Philosophy and Practice of Harmony Meditation by Grandmaster Johwa Choi

Instead of focusing on tweaking inputs to get desired outcomes, I realized that I should focus on expanding my notion of self, on replacing that small worrying self with the larger Self.

Sometimes in tough situations I will think to myself: if I was offered a million bucks to endure this longer, would I be able to do it? If a tiger was chasing me, would I be able to keep going? Most of the time this thinking shuts my complaining and nagging mind right away. And I am able to focus on breathing and going deeper into the present, into the now. This is a journey worth exploring, with the new and refreshed “I” emerging in its glory.