궁궁/GoongGoong

Becoming a better student

How many times do I need to re-learn the same lesson before I finally “get” it. So many times I was sure that it had finally clicked, just to fall over and repeat the same mistake again.

The lesson I’ve struggled with as it relates to my tendencies of perfectionism – is that the only way for me to move forward and accumulate real understanding is to first flush my information by putting it out or just letting it go. It does not matter even what the form the “putting it out” takes. I end up holding onto ideas, and concepts and memories, feeling like they need an outlet – but until it’s released it just leaves me stuck with the unresolved hanging threads that remain to occupy and consume my mind, blocking me from a natural flow.

This is a matter of timely learning. If I see life itself as my teacher, to incorporate the lessons I am learning, there needs to be processing and flow of those ideas and truths (and energy) into something else, whatever form that takes. I’m writing this blog now to try to express and output an understanding that I’ve arrived at after many years of struggle. But only after I release it in this form can I actually move on to the next attempt and next lesson and next iteration. So action is needed but still I tend to hold on to things for too long, until they are overripened or overcooked. At which point it just becomes a soggy mush.

As a antidote to this tendency I am learning to embrace the perspective of a practicing student— that it’s okay that I don’t know everything now or am able to do everything perfectly. It’s much more important to stay committed and consistent with the actual practice so I can accumulate enough familiarity with the lesson until hopefully it finally sticks. And accepting all the embarrassments and failures along the way with humility and grit will allow me to grow that much faster. There is a lightness that comes from remembering that I don’t need to have it all figured out. I am practicing, learning through the doing, and trusting that understanding will come in its own time.

So I again fully surrender to the flow, allowing actions to take shape without my preconceived judgments or expectations. Reflection, and analysis will still have it’s time, but they come separately after the doing. In the act of doing, I aim to simply be open and present with the practice. As my teacher keeps reminding me – Do it now, and judge later.

Question for today’s Enlightenment – Freedom


Question for today’s Enlightenment – Most would consider freedom of thought the most important, because it’s the foundation of creativity, learning, and personal growth.

These are core fundamental rights that ensure individual freedoms in democratic societies:
1. Speech: Freedom to express opinions without censorship.
2. Religion: Right to practice or change one’s faith.
3. Assembly: Right to gather and protest peacefully.
4. Press: Freedom for media to report without government interference.
5. Movement: Right to travel and reside anywhere.
6. Thought: Freedom to hold and express personal beliefs.
7. Economics: Right to engage in economic activities and own property.
8. Equality: Equal treatment and opportunities for all, regardless of differences.
9. Privacy: Protection from unwarranted surveillance or intrusion.
10. Education: Right to access quality education.

What’s missing? 
Perhaps, one key freedom missing is freedom of choice. 

From Master TaeBaek

Master TaeBaek asked, “Who is truly free from life?” 
One student replied, “Life itself.” 
Another said, “No one is.” 
But the master didn’t acknowledge their answers. Instead, he asked, “When you answered the question, were you free from the grip of your consciousness and its habits?”


The Question itself is a gentle wake-up call, one that has the power to transform your entire life. 

Have you ever had a moment that changed everything for you? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments!

Realigning with natural timing

As a chronic overthinker and perfectionist, I often find myself inadvertently missing the natural timings of life. It seems that somewhere deep down, I’ve felt like time is an infinite endless resource, and that there will always be an opportunity to go back and complete things later. This sense has led me to be careless with time, often being late or delaying the start of certain tasks believing that there will always be time.

And it’s not just the timing of physical actions; it’s also in the timing of my emotional responses. It’s often like my reactions are on a delay. Emotions come, but sometimes a beat too late, missing the natural flow of the moment. When I should speak up, I hesitate. When I should let go, I hold on too long… often leading to an odd kind of awkwardness in my interactions.

Whatever my intention is – these missed beats are communicating something: hesitation, ambivalence, uncertainty. Though internally I see it as a moment to collect my thoughts, to the outside world it can look like a lack of conviction, a lack of care, or even disregard. This becomes especially apparent in my relationships. In my social life I sometimes find myself holding back my true feelings out of a fear of causing hurt. But that hesitation, that delay, ends up creating more uncertainty and more suffering.

So how do I get back in tune with the natural flow of time? I can reflect on the lessons from Tai Chi where the goal is to “make mind and body as one.” It is exactly a practice of being present, allowing body and energy to naturally flow from the center without overthinking each movement. When the body and mind move together, there is harmony. I’ve learned to physically move with the natural energy that’s already present, not forcing or resisting. So why don’t I take that lesson and apply it to all the other aspects of my life? Now is the time!

I am myself, but why?

Question for today’s #Enlightenment!

Is the question ‘Who am I?’ not enough for you?
I hear you. So let me take it a step further: I am myself, but why?

How many different versions of yourself are you experiencing in your daily life, and are they in harmony with each other?”

Preparing to hit the Bullseye

I recently came across this neat graphic that nicely illustrates what it takes to learn how to hit a target in life. It’s not about being perfect on the first try— rather it’s about consistently taking countless shots, learning from the misses, and improving over time.

Image by @visualgrowthhub

This really resonated with me because I’ve definitely spent far too long in that first category: pulling back the bow, lining up the shot, aiming forever—but never actually releasing the arrow. The few times I have let go, it felt like the arrow missed the target so badly that it ended up injuring innocent bystanders and filling me with self-doubt. Those failures made me hesitant to try again, and over time, fear took over, and though I continued to draw the bow and aim my arrow, I stopped taking the shots. Over time the elasticity of the bow degraded, and eventually the target vanished from sight…. I gradually settled into a comfort zone—a life that, was truly quite comfortable. One with no real pressing need to aim for anything beyond where I already am.

But there’s a part of me—a deeper, restless part—that isn’t content to stay there. That part of me knows that if I stop taking shots and settle into that comfort then I’ll never truly be fulfilled. So it pushes me to wake up and reset my sights on my target and pick up the bow once more… Maybe that’s the call from my Bigger Self?

But starting over is so hard sometimes… When I do begin, I find myself running into a huge barrier – burnout. Not the kind of burnout that comes from doing too much, but the one born from self-judgment and perfectionism. It’s that voice in my head that criticizes every attempt I make, that compares me to some ideal version of myself I think I should be. The worst part is that this self-criticism drains me even more. Instead of resetting and accepting where I am, I spiral into distraction, trying to escape the discomfort of not having it all figured out.

That’s the habit—the cycle I’ve created. The more I judge myself for not being where I want to be, the harder it becomes to take any step at all. It’s like a mental loop that feeds on itself, building barriers between me and the goals I desperately want to reach. And in the process, I weaken the very part of me that intended to grow. My teacher says that mind is a muscle, and I clearly haven’t been exercising mine the right way. If anything, I’ve been doing the opposite: reinforcing pathways of self-doubt and self-criticism that lead nowhere.

But these days I’m learning to bring light and acceptance to those moments. I’m learning to stop punishing myself for the mistakes I’ve made and the times I’ve fallen short. It’s only through self-compassion that change becomes possible. Otherwise, the habit just continues—rooting itself deeper and becoming an addiction to destructive patterns of thought.

So, it’s okay that I’m not quite where I want to be. It’s okay that I’ve made mistakes. I truly accept where I am right now, and am ready to take responsibility for all of it. Only from this place of honesty and self-acceptance can I take the next step toward the life—and the me—that I want to create.

And the beautiful irony is I already have so much to be grateful for! An immense spiritual community that uplifts and supports me, a fiercely independent and loving family, an education and career, and some of the best friends anyone can ask for. Recognizing these blessings helps me see that I don’t need to pressure myself to get everything right today. The gratitude gives me clarity. And with that clarity I can set my sights on a new target and take my next shot.

So this is where I am right now – Choosing to aim to build myself up and become an embodiment of the values that I hold. To heal the parts of myself that are hurt from the failures and mistakes of the past. And to take that shot toward Bigger Self.

And hey I just hit my first target by making this post! =)

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